When an author launches a book, it’s usually a methodical, drawn-out process. Most indie authors compile ARC readers, host Kickstarters, and gather street teams.
I went from getting a full manuscript request to secretly publishing a week later.
I flipped the “usual” book launch procedure upside down, and today, I’m going to tell you why I did it. Warning: this is a bitter-sweet story, so buckle up for it.
(For the sake of privacy, I’ve changed the names of agents and agencies in this post.)
My story begins with the biggest dream I’ve ever had; I wanted to be a traditionally published author.
It’s important for you to know how big of a dream this was for me to understand the internal battle I faced through this process.
I worked hard toward this dream. Seven years of absorbing the publishing world. Seven years of podcasts, craft books, beta readers, critique groups, pitch events, conferences, etc. If there was a writing resource to be utilized, I was devouring it. I wrote in the middle of the night (on my phone) with a crying newborn. I wrote early in the mornings at 4 and 5 AM before my kids woke up. I chose a MARKETING degree so I could market future books. (Shh. Don’t tell my hubby, lol. He thinks I chose it for the practicality of it.)
Becoming a traditionally published author was my dream. It still is.
I never shirked any part of the writing, editing, or feedback process. To prepare for querying, I underwent twenty rounds of feedback on my query letter and almost that many rounds on my novel, Vesselless. If someone brought a problem up, I did the work to fix it. I stayed up late and woke up early.
I repeated this process too many times to count, dedicating every free second to this book. (While also being a mom, wife, beta-reader, marketer, and full-time student.)
I think that’s what made the rejections sting so much. Many authors told me I should make funny reels about the rejections, but how could I when I struggled to tell my own husband how I'd failed? To tell everyone how my years of sacrifices and steadfast dedication were not enough?
While I went through cut and paste rejections from agents, Indie authors were supporting me Instagram. In the midst of querying, I came across traditionally published authors who'd been dropped by their agents, found authors who’d landed an agent, only to have their manuscripts die in the submissions process, and other authors who’d waited years to get their books published.
As a member of countless book groups and communities, I also noticed a market demand for NA romantasy books. I felt the intense anxiety to get my book out ASAP to be able to hit the market at the right time, and I realized that by publishing on my own–with my experience in marketing–I could have a chance to jump ahead of traditional publishing. I also knew if Vesselless did well, it could be picked up later by a publisher.
Thus started the internal battle: Do I really want to go the traditional route, now?
As my platform continued to grow, and more excitement rallied around Vesselless, I realized one important thing: the vast majority of readers don’t give a crap if you are traditionally published or self-published. They care about the story. The writing. The characters. This point was driven home for me when I saw The Serpent and the Wings of Night being recommended in Facebook reading groups. No one said, “This book is indie.” They said, “This book is good.”
Thus, the internal battle pursued.
For all of these reasons, my heart started leaning toward indie, but I felt like I owed it to my younger self to exhaust the traditional option before turning to indie. No matter how many rejections I had coming my way, I would face them. To me, deciding to go the indie route felt like running away from the fact that I might not be good enough, and I thought, "If I’m not good enough, I need to know it, so I can become better."
No running.
All of this was going through my head when I went viral on Tik Tok with this post:
As of today, it is still gaining traction on Tik Tok, but that’s not the point. The point is: an agent saw it and emailed me, asking for my manuscript. I cried, so happy to have a shot at my dream–so happy to have an agent say, “I see something in you.”
The agent (we'll call her Sally) loved my pitch on Tik Tok and asked for my full manuscript.
But before I sent her anything, I searched for her on Publisher’s Marketplace, Twitter, Tik Tok, etc.
I couldn’t find her anywhere. This is when the sinking feeling crept in.
I asked her why she wasn’t on any of those platforms. She said she used to work for an agency that dissolved last year (we’ll call it AB agency,) and went on to tell me she’d been an assistant at AB agency. (That's why she didn’t show up on any platform that I searched.)
I checked her story out. This agency had dissolved the previous year, and the senior agent she'd claimed to be an assistant for, had in fact worked there. According to her, she and the senior agent launched their own agency very recently, saying they were in the process of getting onto Publisher’s Marketplace and Twitter.
So, my husband and I began searching. We found her on Linkedin (with publishing industry connections) and on a third-party directory website, listed as an employee for AB agency. What’s more, every email she sent to me was flawless with no punctuation or grammatical error in sight. Her communication was extremely kind, well thought out, and extensive. Never once did she ask for money or make promises of publication/fame. For these reasons, I decided to send Vesselless to her despite the uneasy pit in my stomach. I honestly couldn’t tell if the uneasiness was nerves or if it was more than that.
After a week, the sinking feeling hadn't left, so I Googled the address on Sally's website, which ended up being for another business entirely. After that, I reached out to the owner of AB agency, asking her to verify Sally's employment.
The owner of AB agency responded with a four-word email: “Never heard of her.”
My stomach dropped, but doing my due diligence, I replied back, asking if there was any way she could’ve missed Sally’s name because she was an assistant to the senior agent.
The owner responded:
“It's entirely possible that [senior agent] hired someone on her own. She moved to [State] years ago and continued to be with the agency, but since then she has gone off and we don't know where she went. Her agency email is no longer operative. She was an excellent agent, focusing mostly on urban fantasy, speculative fiction, some YA, and romance. But she is no longer working as an agent, as far as I know.”
I, still to this day, don’t know if this was all a big misunderstanding or a big scam.
I felt cornered, forced to choose between publishing immediately and securing my copyright (suggested by a friend) or trust a stranger on the internet.
(Yes, I know my work is legally protected from the moment I write it, but I didn't want to fight a legal battle to prove it was mine. The easiest option, in my mind, was to publish and avoid anyone publicly claiming it before I did.)
My first thought was to email to Sally asking her to explain but the thought crossed my mind that if it was a scam, this could goad the person into publishing it before I was able to.
(All of this sounds so crazy to me as I'm writing it down, but this is what truly went through my mind at the time.)
I had no idea what someone would want with a manuscript from a nobody like me, but stressed and anxious at the time, my mind struggled to see much logic. I thought the only reason someone might want a manuscript would be to post it to a platform like Wattpad or Kindle Unlimited to earn a little money from someone else's story.
After the amount of work I’d dumped into Vesselless, I am not going to lie; the option of simply publishing it grew more refreshing the more I thought about it.
I made sure to think my decision through and considered the alternative:
Honestly, it could’ve been a big misunderstanding. If that is the case, I sincerely apologize to this agent.
But, at the end of the day, my gut said, "Publish it."
I chose to go with what I felt to be the safest route with my manuscript and jumped headfirst into indie publishing.
The day after I received that four-word email, I sent a newsletter out to my 107 subscribers, asking them if they’d help me with a secret launch.
They responded with an overwhelming, “Yes!” and I published Vesselless through Amazon on March 23, 2024.
This meant pulling my manuscript from Entangled Publishing as well as RevPit. Above all of the work I put into Vesselless, withdrawing my manuscript from these avenues was one of the hardest things I've had to do. (Fun fact: Today is the day I would've found out if I made the cut.)
Naturally, I began questioning my decision, wondering if I’d made the right one. I started having dreams of SJM fans telling me they'd never read my book because it was self-published.
The multitude and intensity of emotions I experienced through this short time was insane.
I doubted myself a million times.
But then, I started getting reviews like this one from @paperback.pleasur on Tik Tok:
If you have a Tik Tok, make sure to follow Paperback.pleasur and if you'd like to help spread the word about Vesselless, repost this video!
Somehow, my friends and I turned a secret book launch into a success.
Looking back at all the things that have lead me to this point, I can’t help but wonder if things like this happen for a reason. Thanks to my wonderful readers and friends, Vesselless has been recommended across Facebook, YouTube, Goodreads, Tik Tok, Amazon, and Instagram.
As of today, almost a month after my secret launch, I've officially opened up for physical copy pre-orders.
Cool things to know about the pre-orders:
When you pre-order, you will receive the only signed copies available.
The proceeds go toward edits for book 2.
Each pre-order comes with a surprise detail. (You'll be the very first to know what it is!)
You will have the physical copy one full week before it is available to purchase anywhere else.
I make sure my subscribers and supporters feel like they are a part of the inside crowd with truly exclusive access and content. Thank you to each and every one of you who've supported me in this crazy journey. You'll never know how deeply your kindness has affected me.
Thank you for caring enough to read my publishing story. If you’d like to support my crazy launch, follow me on Instagram or Tik Tok. If romantasy books are your thing, I’d be honored to have you meet my characters and enjoy my world. Click here to learn more about Vesselless.
XOXO,
Cortney L. Winn
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